


A Contentious Confliction of the Egos

by HalfpennyDreadfuls (orphan_account)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Book 4: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Humor, M/M, Tsunderes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-10
Updated: 2018-03-10
Packaged: 2019-03-29 15:27:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13929942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/HalfpennyDreadfuls
Summary: Lord Voldemort could never have anticipatedthis





	A Contentious Confliction of the Egos

**Author's Note:**

  * For [peixe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/peixe/gifts), [VivyPotter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/VivyPotter/gifts).



> An homage to by VivyPotter's [The Many Harry Potters of Little Hangleton](https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10339852/1/The-Many-Harry-Potters-of-Little-Hangleton)
> 
> Disclaimer: Any resemblances to actual persons, living or dead, is, I assure you, purely coincidental.

Lord Voldemort approached Harry, his long black robes flowing like a dark mist around him. The surrounding Death Eaters watched with bated breath as he raised a single skeletal finger to hover over Harry Potter's scar.

" _I can touch you now_ ," he breathed, his sibilant voice carrying easily in the silent graveyard. For so long, he had dreamed of this moment, of making the Boy-Who-Lived writhe in pain beneath his hands. Retribution for thirteen long years as a wraith would finally be his this night …

Harry's eyes widened as Voldemort moved in--

"BAKA--!!" he screamed, slamming his head back into the stone.

Voldemort froze, slit eyes flaring wide in surprise.

Harry wriggled furiously in his bonds. "YOU STUPID--!! WHY? WHY WOULD I?? IN YOUR DREAMS! DON'T KISS ME, BAKA!!!"

The Dark Lord drew back, perturbed, and looked at Wormtail as if searching for support, or just confirmation that this was really happening.

Wormtail looked blankly back at him. Master and servant, for once equal partners in bewilderment.

"Kiss you--?" Voldemort began, squinting. Was this a ploy of some kind?

"NOOOOOOoooo!! NO! YOU BULBACIOUS BABBLING BLOB BAKA!! _YOU NO KISS!!_ "

Voldemort let his hand fall.

"P-Perhaps he h-has gone mad with fear, my Lord?" Wormtail simpered.

But upon realising that Voldemort no longer intended to touch him, a most drastic change came over Harry Potter. He avoided their eyes and began to fidget as well as his bonds would allow.

"Okay, no … I didn't mean it …" he spluttered, blushing prettily. "You can touch if you really want, okay? But only … only a little … you may pat --"

He tilted his head forwards, proffering his scalp.

"But only pat, you understand?"

"You would like Lord Voldemort to … pat you?" Voldemort asked, unable to believe his ears. Surely this could not be the child of prophecy?

Although, there had been another one, hadn't there? A *Neville Longbottom* … Voldemort would have to learn more about him … research his life, his accomplishments. Perhaps he had been too hasty in targeting the half-blood; perhaps it was the pureblood who was the true danger…

Harry nodded. "Just a little, okay? And … and only because _you_ want to … not _I_ \--"

"I believe playtime is over," Voldemort said, raising his pale wand.

"DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!! YOU NERD! _NERD!!_ " Harry screamed, all his coyness disappearing like water down a drain. "WHO ARE YOU??? PLAYTIME - MEH - WHO ARE YOU CALLING A CHILD, BAKA??"

Lord Voldemort needed a stiff drink after this.


End file.
